It is New Years eve and, therefore, an adequate moment, in my opinion, to reflect upon the 364 days and some-odd hours preceding this moment.
Looking back, in general terms, 2012 was for me the year of monumentally poor decisions.
That said, there were some awesome moments.
Most notably, my trips back to Tampa, Florida: First, to see greatest dude in the world, Charlie Terenzio marry his perfect partner. And, later, to watch my Alma Mater, USF, face FSU in football; results of said match, we will not discuss.
Thanksgiving and Christmas shared with my parents and Aunt Cheryl were also particularly dear to me. Late night discussions, clouded by robust indulgence, between my Dad and I were especially heart-warming, despite the discomfort they may have caused Mom's rest. Sorry!
2012 was the year I began to financially commit to my retirement. I now contribute to my government-matched pension, and also to some dividend-paying investments.
I visited Seattle for the first time, and subsequently, a few times after. And there, in a city I immediately embraced, I discovered a bar I truly adore.
In 2012, I became a bigger fan of electronic dance music. And have remained much more up-to-date to the genre's scene.
I departed D.C., although I remain a worker there, and obtained an apartment totally of my own.
And, I stumbled upon a place I enjoy hanging more than any I have before visited: Churchkey. Unfortunately, this happy house of intoxicants remains about 50 miles from home.
But, alas...
Even if I had won the lottery, married the girl of my dreams, and summited Mt. Everest, 2012 will always remain to me, primarily, the year I met the limits of my own ability. A limit I had always believed never to exist.
My self-inflicted failure will be the ultimate moment that overshadows all of 2012 within in my memory.
This was the year I abandoned the dream I most passionately sought to make reality.
Regret. Regret. Regret.
And, perhaps not unrelated, 2012 was also the same year I fell off the wagon, so to say.
In ways that may make sense to few other than me, I've encountered anxiety both out of my control and of my own doing.
On the other hand, in 2012, I also discovered some success due to perseverance
I've maintained my rigorous dedication to physical conditioning, even if, lately, it has taken the form of much more running than weight lifting.
So...
...I look to 2013 with hopefulness.
I have made a big mess of my responsibility to the military, and it all stems from that utterly regrettable decision I made during an April morning in Camp Mackall.
A person I trust, advises that all things work out for the best. At the very least, I am certain they happen for a reason.
I hope 2013 is the year I discover that reason and untangle myself from the web of implosion I may have entangled myself.
An honest assessment? Everything is good. Except a single worrisome obstacle: My military commitment.
Otherwise, I am optimistic. Satisfied. Even, really, happy.
If I may overcome this one hurdle without too much collateral damage, I wish of 2013 to just be a steady year.
I don't seek greatness in the coming year, or even much in progression. I just desire a single year of unimpeded regularity.
Many hopes and dreams were lost in 2012. In 2013, I just want to embrace reality. Without it slapping me in the face.
Which means...
...Working hard. So as to procure small self-satisfying accomplishments Perhaps attain promotion.
But, most of all, obtain another year's worth of savings. So as to one day achieve the future goal most precious to me; securing a little piece of land in North Dakota during retirement.
Happy New Years. And good fortunes!
Go to Vegas with the Bros in July. Do it.
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